Thursday, 16 November 2017

Letting Go Of Toxic Relationships

Heyyyyy guys, I hope you're all having a lovely day (or afternoon/evening depending on when you're reading this!) I have definitely been feeling rather cathartic recently and I really wanted to do a post on letting go of toxic relationships in the hopes that it will help some of you guys out there if you're struggling with this situation. 

As I write this post, I have had quite a thoughtful day about all the things which you shouldn't have to put up with in a relationship and how to overcome them without feeling guilty. I've definitely always been a people pleaser, I will keep quiet even when jokes are being told at my expense just to avoid confrontation and arguments. I will tolerate a lot of things which quite frankly, I shouldn't be tolerating and overall I put up with a lot of crap which I really shouldn't have to deal with.

Over the past couple of years. i've definitely gotten better at cutting out people who are having a negative impact on my life, I just won't tolerate it anymore. I will be 23 in March next year and I just have no more time to spend on relationships where I end up feeling mocked, belittled and hurt by people who are supposed to care for and support me.


Whether you're in a romantic relationship, or a platonic friendship, not everyone is meant to be together. There are some people who have such different personality traits and expectations that you don't have to get along with everyone. I used to try to hard to be everyone's friend, but then I realised that it's okay not to get along with some people and you don't have to feel guilty about it. 


I wouldn't call myself a boring person, I love a good joke and a bit of banter but not at my expense. I definitely used to be the kind of person who would put up with it just for the sake of not wanting to upset or argue with anyone but I just feel like i've well outgrown the childish mentality of making fun of other people for a bit of entertainment. Making fun of someone is never okay, regardless of the excuse, you shouldn't have to put up with it.


This is one which I haven't really thought about until this year, when I have a friendship with someone I like the contact to be a regular thing e.g. Talk to them regularly, meet up every once in a while that sort of thing. Sure, there are the very rare cases when you have such a special relationship with someone that time apart doesn't matter, but as a whole you shouldn't have to invest emotional energy into friends who are never around.


I've experienced quite a lot of this, mainly when I was at school, but you should never put up with those friends who only care about their own agenda and not yours. There's been times where i've been ready to combust, but there's that one person who never wants to hear about it and will only talk about their problems. Talking about issues going on is healthy in whatever relationship, but it has to be a two sided thing. Don't put up with someone who neglects your feelings and prioritises their own.

You should never feel guilty about letting a relationship fade out, especially if it's one which has caused you emotional distress, life is too short to be wasted with people who aren't prepared to take your feelings into consideration and treat you horribly.

I hope this advice has been somewhat helpful to some of you, it's definitely a subject which is often a hard one to talk about but you have to put yourself and your mental health first. Taking care of yourself is so important and if that means cutting off harmful relationships then you should do that.

I hope you all have a wonderful week!


1 comment

  1. Fantastic post Tallulah! I'm the same way, I've always put up with a lot of crap because I fear confrontation and aggression, but to be honest, that's no way to live. I've just turned 25 and I have no time for people who think it's okay to treat me horribly so I'm not afraid to cut ties. Life is too short.



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